Sometimes I think — no sweat, I can do this. Then I have a go at it and — nope, no go!
What does that mean? It means I thought I would have lots of giddy up to go for a long haul. A long haul to where you ask? As one who sometimes has the audacity to call themselves an artist, that means going on a long drawing or painting binge. Apparently my ride may require a whipping.
Okay that was vague and probably made no sense. I could simply save time and space by stating: “… ack man I’m having a hard time getting myself artistically motivated … ,” I need projects. Although projects are hard work and sometimes / oftentimes soul crushing they can reap great rewards.
My last project (which hopefully is the last time I nostalgically refer to it) was my 100 digital drawings in a row. From that project something emerged of which I did not expect. My feeling was once I finish this [damn] project I’m done with it. My belief was “… digital art is not for me …” and the sooner I can finish the quicker I can move on.
Well, I finished the project and guess what, now I’m working almost exclusively in digital (what the …)? Now I’m thinking — is it worth “gifting” Apple with a thousand plus of my hard earned bucks for one of their over-priced hunks of hardware? After all, I’m producing reasonably decent results on my piddly version 6 iPad, although the latest OS update is starting to bog it down.
Back to my internal struggle
Well, here we go again, it seems my modus operandi is to create situations or problems that force me into action. What kept me motivated for 600 days in a row was posting daily drawings to Instagram. I stopped this over a month ago. It was never my intention to post to Instagram for artistic affirmation.
I simply thought of Instagram as a form of market research to evaluate what others think of my work. Naturally “me being me” I didn’t really care what people thought — more or less. Instead it proved to be a great motivator to keep me committed to drawing every day.
Unfortunately, or fortunately I’m tired of Instagram and wish to move on to something else.
So this is my struggle — what to do?
Some stuff I did this week
Yikes, all this blabbering and no mention of what I did this week. I did do stuff, so I should show you some stuff, eh? Mostly digital — go figure?
In my last post I listed potential options for moving forward. As of now I have committed to none of them. Mind you though, digital seems to be the one shouting the loudest. For me: every day is a new day, it will happen, I will get rolling — eventually, I think, I hope, will I, oh who knows?
That’s it for now, I’m waiting for the stars to line up, or I could actually “just do it“!
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